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This is a public entry. I went private some time ago because my girlfriend at the time was paranoid and ashamed. We've been done for quite some time and I'm at a point where I'm ready to let the world in again.
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The shoots yesterday went incredibly well, despite the fact that it was COLD AS FUCK.
Several things need saying... a multitude of things, really. We'll start with community.
I am a person who craves belonging and community. I've spent the majority of my post-adolescent life trying to shoehorn myself into various communities. The gay community, the theatre community, the young-idealistic-nonprofit-slaves community. I have always, as the line goes, longed for a community of my own, but ultimately it has been me, with my camera, alone. I kept trying trying trying to fit somewhere and I kept failing failing failing. It was always a little off, like trying to force two jigsaw pieces together. You might be able to round the corners enough from sheer force to make them join, but the picture is never quite right.
I found my people. The art freaks. In the past two months I've made more friends than I've made in the past... ever. And so the girl who used to have panic attacks in seventh grade every day before lunch because she had no one to sit with is welcomed with open arms by a dozen others who were suffering their own panic attacks in far-flung cafeterias.
These people have transformed my art. Dan's prodding kept me moving along in the project despite my tendency to burn out before I've begun. Doug and Lauren G's photo-guidance and expertise pushed my technique to new levels. And I have no idea what I wouldn't have done without the incredible FAITH from my entire cast and crew, most notably Hayley, Lauren W and Len.
My cast. Twelve last night alone, all of us at a long table at the Life Cafe-- how poetic. No dancing on the tables, but lots of laughter and sharing of stories (and food). I looked around and saw people who'd just met that day deep in conversation, seemingly old friends. Our ages, professions, hometowns and personalities ran the gamut, yet there was one trait that I could see in each person: kindness. I have never found so many individuals who are so willing to love strangers.
Last night, one of our lot looked up from a dish of chocolate cake and announced, "I want to get my nose pierced."
"Right now?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Okay. Let's go do that."
And so, a field trip. The lovely Lauren W led us to a hole-in-the-wall and a piercer named Vinny. The lot of us crowded in to the tiny space and watched as he deftly threaded the jewelry through her nostril.
"Who's next?" Vinny asked, looking from freak to freak.
I'm a mild-mannered executive assistant. I wear dress pants every day. I'm polite to salespeople on the phone as they waste my time with their overly complicated pitches and slow paces. I'm the Man.
OBVIOUSLY I'm next.
( Hayley says this is the beginning of my renaissance. )
Love,
Beth
---
The shoots yesterday went incredibly well, despite the fact that it was COLD AS FUCK.
Several things need saying... a multitude of things, really. We'll start with community.
I am a person who craves belonging and community. I've spent the majority of my post-adolescent life trying to shoehorn myself into various communities. The gay community, the theatre community, the young-idealistic-nonprofit-slaves community. I have always, as the line goes, longed for a community of my own, but ultimately it has been me, with my camera, alone. I kept trying trying trying to fit somewhere and I kept failing failing failing. It was always a little off, like trying to force two jigsaw pieces together. You might be able to round the corners enough from sheer force to make them join, but the picture is never quite right.
I found my people. The art freaks. In the past two months I've made more friends than I've made in the past... ever. And so the girl who used to have panic attacks in seventh grade every day before lunch because she had no one to sit with is welcomed with open arms by a dozen others who were suffering their own panic attacks in far-flung cafeterias.
These people have transformed my art. Dan's prodding kept me moving along in the project despite my tendency to burn out before I've begun. Doug and Lauren G's photo-guidance and expertise pushed my technique to new levels. And I have no idea what I wouldn't have done without the incredible FAITH from my entire cast and crew, most notably Hayley, Lauren W and Len.
My cast. Twelve last night alone, all of us at a long table at the Life Cafe-- how poetic. No dancing on the tables, but lots of laughter and sharing of stories (and food). I looked around and saw people who'd just met that day deep in conversation, seemingly old friends. Our ages, professions, hometowns and personalities ran the gamut, yet there was one trait that I could see in each person: kindness. I have never found so many individuals who are so willing to love strangers.
Last night, one of our lot looked up from a dish of chocolate cake and announced, "I want to get my nose pierced."
"Right now?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Okay. Let's go do that."
And so, a field trip. The lovely Lauren W led us to a hole-in-the-wall and a piercer named Vinny. The lot of us crowded in to the tiny space and watched as he deftly threaded the jewelry through her nostril.
"Who's next?" Vinny asked, looking from freak to freak.
I'm a mild-mannered executive assistant. I wear dress pants every day. I'm polite to salespeople on the phone as they waste my time with their overly complicated pitches and slow paces. I'm the Man.
OBVIOUSLY I'm next.
( Hayley says this is the beginning of my renaissance. )
Love,
Beth
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