(no subject)

[bethofalltrades]

Katrina is magic. She loaned me her acoustic guitar and now my fingers hurt from the strings.

The guitar and I already have a complicated relationship. You see, I am not used to doing things I'm not good at. Generally those are the things I stop doing in favor of things I am good at.

Yes, no one is instantly good at everything. But generally there are things that one shows aptitude at and things that one does not, and music has always been in my "not" category, which explains why I quit the keyboard, flute, violin and choir. (I also quit ballet, tap, rollerskating, iceskating, softball, dinosaur club, key club, glee club, national honor society, quiz team, math team, physics, calculus, and my last three jobs.)

But... I like music. I like singing and I like the ukulele and I think I like the guitar too.

I am not a musician. I will never be a musician. But I don't have to be a musician to play the guitar. I can just be... a person who plays the guitar as well or as badly as she does, because it makes her happy. Not to be the best at it, not to be admired for being great at it, not to make money at it, not to entertain people at parties. Just to do it, because it feels good.

fishmakestwo reminded me of The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe tonight. I was a freshman in high school when that song came out and I really liked it. I bought the album on CD through one of those music club things. Tonight I found an acapella version on YouTube.

Jesus.

I love that he's so awkward. The man is a professional musician, a famous one at that, and he looks... uncomfortable. And I love it, because it feels real.

I recently told weezerchild703 about being 12 years old and seeing The Cranberries play on SNL and how it changed my life. I spent some time looking for video of that performance (even though I watched that tape so many times I can still see it in my head) and I've had no luck.

Love,
Beth

Comments

[prolix-yourword.livejournal.com]

Music is magic. And it can change your life, especially when you are so young...

I have a memory gap due to extreme psychological abuse, but during that period in my life, even though the entire thing is just...gone...I can remember every word to every song that I loved. Sometimes, I hear an old song and I just...realize that I know every word, and that at some point in my life I loved that song. Intensely. That it got me through some horrible, traumatic time. I feel like I owe music so much...it's so very, very powerful...

I'm glad that you play guitar for yourself. You should do that always.

Maybe in this list?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_twilight_/]

http://www.google.com/search?q=youtube+cranberries+SNL&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

[littlelotte.livejournal.com]

The Verve Pipe is from Kalamazoo. Hehe. They played at Taste of Kalamazoo a handful of years ago when I went with former friends who loved the group and they played Freshmen. I never really listened to it when I was younger, and it's probably good because I probably wouldn't have really understood it, but hearing it live my senior year of college meant something that I can't even put into words. I rather love it now.

[weezerchild703.livejournal.com]

Beth, do you know how I got to claim "I am a music enthusiast?" Probably not -

Because I realized long ago that playing the guitar did not make me a musician. That playing the clarinet (though I never wanted to play that instrument) for years in school, and learning music theory did not make me a musician. I am not a musician, but I deeply, and passionately love music - not all music, but music that has become mine. So if I'm not a musician, and music is in my life in a very deep way - it made sense to me to identify as "an appreciator of music" - as someone who loves it so much that it's part of my being but it's other people's music that becomes mine and not my own.

I love to play guitar, but it isn't something I think I'm very good at. But I play it for MYSELF and I love what it does for ME, even if I mess up - it's okay. The point is, even if you are not as good as you want to be, it's okay. It's the commitment - following through - that will make you improve. It's the desire to play a song because it makes you feel incredible to create something, to replicate (or even alter) art that makes you feel (by playing a song on an instrument and having it SOUND LIKE THE SONG it's supposed to).

You don't have to be a musician to play or to appreciate an instrument. It's okay. You don't have to let anyone know you know how or sort-of-know-how to play an instrument, but you can still love it, or sort-of love it.
So I do hope you continue exploring the guitar, the uke, the kazoo - whatttttever. If it makes you happy, if it challenges you in new ways - if you learn something then you're on the right path.

I don't know what the fuck is going on now... because I JUST HEARD that song, the Freshman on my iPod (on shuffle) YESTERDAY, and then today Jeri pulled out the Verve CD (RANDOMLY) to be played on the radio show today (we didn't get to it) and then fishmakestwo mentioned in and I thought "this is getting strange" and now YOU are mentioning and I am unsettled in a very beautiful way.

Do you know about the two different versions of the song? The "electric" and the "acoustic"? I remember I think it was 1997, yes.. had to have been, the Verve Pipe were on the Jenny McCarthy Show on MTV and they played the song, I think with just one guitar.

These videos exist - hard to find, but it exists (and the episode is actually in syndication - with Ode to My Family cut out). Someone already posted a google search which shows Ode to my Family (http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-cranberries-ode-to-my-famiy-live-snl/2314660716) but here's Zombie - http://ikbis.com/damdom/shot/79533

[weezerchild703.livejournal.com]

She pulled The Vervepipe CD not the Verve... damn typo... and damn those two bands getting popular at the same time haha.

[weezerchild703.livejournal.com]

I couldn't get that AOL video to work for me (thought it was my computer, but after restarting and trying in different browsers I realized it's probably the video).


So, I dug through the 'net and found one that does:

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/dolores-oriordan/3175619034

Beautiful.

[indecisean.livejournal.com]

SNL - 20.14 w/ George Clooney?

[slavetoreznor.livejournal.com]

The Verve Pipe were one of the first bands I ever saw in concert (missing first place only by Weird AL :-p). It was them with Tonic. I think I was a freshman because I remember going w/ my best friend and her dad. He was always such a cool guy and therefore ok in my teenage eyes that a dad came with us.

[fishmakestwo.livejournal.com]

Dinosaur club? *grin*

[killflower.livejournal.com]

Wait... how could you not be good at dinosaur club?


I am not a musician. I will never be a musician. But I don't have to be a musician to play the guitar. I can just be... a person who plays the guitar as well or as badly as she does, because it makes her happy. Not to be the best at it, not to be admired for being great at it, not to make money at it, not to entertain people at parties. Just to do it, because it feels good.

I feel the same way about music sometimes. Though, I have to say... more and more, it feels kind of like music was just something that chose me, as cheesy as that may sound. It didn't start out as a "hobby" when I was a kid, it was more like an impulse. So maybe it's totally different, I don't know.