bethofalltrades

Since I have so many new folks on my f-list, I'm going to be resurrecting a few "vintage" blogs... usually chunks of other blogs that are old and friendslocked. Sometimes I'll just unlock and link ya, but this chunk-o-blog came from an entry that has stuff in it I'd rather my dad not read.

That's not just a figure of speech. My dad now reads this blog. Hi Dad!

(Side note: Dad and I Skyped the other day... video chat will revolutionize the way we communicate. It was good to see his face. And he figured out how to install and Skype all by himself, which makes me very proud. Now, if only moogiemoo would get her webcam working...)

Don't worry, the existence of the parental units on the other side of this blog won't change much. It's odd the things I censor from them. Discussions of sexuality? Fine. Rants about burning down exes' houses? Sure.

But I would not want my dad to read any account of my being less than kind.

And yet... that's exactly what this vintage blog is about. So dad, stop reading.



Several years ago, I assistant directed a play. The night of the cast party, I wasn't also seeing the show, so I went out with a (lesbian) friend, intending to join the party once it was in progress.

This friend and I ended up getting drunk on margaritas. The time of the cast party arrived and she said she'd walk me partway there, since it was on the way to her apartment.

We came to an intersection. To get to the cast party, I'd continue straight. But if I were going home with her to her apartment, I'd take a left.

As we stood at the intersection, I knew several things for sure. One, my friend had feelings for me that were different than my feelings for her. Two, if I took the left, we'd end up having sex. Three, taking the left was absolutely the wrong decision, for all parties involved.

But... I was lonely and I liked to be liked and I was selfish and I liked to think that the world was such that anyone could have sex with anyone without negative repercussions. I took the left and it was the beginning of the end of what was really an amazingly fulfilling and healthy friendship for me.

Taking the left is not making a choice in good faith that it is the right choice at the time and then later finding out it had been a mistake (see also, The Princess.) Taking the left is making a choice you KNOW is the wrong one.



Love,
Beth