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posted by [personal profile] bethofalltrades at 06:46am on 02/04/2009 under , ,
Today is a roller coaster.

I have four blogs trying to claw their way to the surface but it is six AM and I am tired and my pinky finger is starting to spasm. It's because of the way I hold it when I blackberry.

It is too late to be coherent.

I told a friend tonight that, no, we cannot continue our discourse on sexuality because my brain cannot take it. We can, however, talk about the Indigo Girls.

My brain gets used up. I joke that my memory gets full and jettisons things I don't need. My close friends know that they can tell me a story two or three times and I'll laugh every time like it's the first. Friends who are less close get annoyed when I don't remember stories they've told me, or experiences we've had together.

An assistant with a bad memory. Hilarious.

Except I have systems, tons of them, and when something is VERY important I make it imprint or I cheat with blackberry alarms and napkin notes.

And then there are things that imprint with no work and never go away.

Almost all of these things involve women.

Occasionally these things involve kissing women.

Frequently these things involve wanting to kiss women.


Tonight I read a line in one of my own blogs that I (of course) do not remember writing:
"I am about as slick as a t-rex in a shopping mall.

I love that line.

It's true.


Another line I love, from an almost-poem:

"I grabbed madly for the girl with the almost key
Instead of the one with the lock."

It's obviously about the pain two bottoms feel when they find themselves alone together, and naked. It's that sort of, "Well, fuck, what do we do now?"

The answer, I have found, is usually "watch tv."


I have a folder in my email program called "God and All The Angels." You should ask me about it some time. It's a good story. No, not right now. Now it's six a.m. and I'm a better storyteller before the sun comes up.


In the course of a year, I send and receive more than 36,000 emails. This is totally insane. NOTHING is that important.

But I love communicating.


I love my life, actually.

The sun is up.

It's April.

There are 9 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
posted by [identity profile] at 10:54am on 02/04/2009
I am sitting here. And watching a tiny spider run off of my keyboard and onto my ipod. And feeling sad and tired but knowing that this sad and tired is better than other ones, because this one will be worth it. Because this time I have actual things to miss and want instead of some empty feeling that this is not enough. I know what I want. I don't have it, but I know, and I'll have it again soon.

I know I owe you email. But if you email me again I will be more likely to actually do something about it. Because I am the dropped link of too many email chains right now.
posted by [identity profile] at 12:14pm on 02/04/2009
If that is any comfort to you, Lorraine (the Fabulous) is just as bad at remembering. This has to do with priorities, not everything can kept inside your brain. There is just too much that need your attention as an assistant.

Which makes me wonder: Would a zombie complain if a brain is too full with ideas and such?
(I feel a story creeping in... byeeeee)
posted by [identity profile] at 01:00pm on 02/04/2009
I'm pretty sure I've told you the Mongolian smuggler story twice. It doesn't bother me, though, because I love telling it.

If you ever get less busy, I'd like to talk to you for a bit. Nothing immediately important, so no worries if you stay too busy.
posted by [identity profile] at 01:31pm on 02/04/2009
Sometimes the girls with the almost keys are the ones with the locks anyway... they just don't realize it yet...

And do not worry... I am barely 25 and I am absolutely convinced that I am rapidly sinking into senility...

I found myself talking to my sister, in the other room, for 10 minutes before I realized she had left to work... and hour ago... I then preceded to finish the conversation... out loud... with her cat. :)
posted by [identity profile] at 02:28pm on 02/04/2009
How do you hold your blackberry that hurts your pinky? I'm imagining you holding it out like someone would while sipping tea.

I too have a job that requires an incredible amount of memory and yet have the worst memory of anyone I know. I too have many, many systems in place to circumvent the issue. We should compare notes on these systems some time.
posted by [identity profile] at 04:03pm on 02/04/2009

I have a folder in my email program called "God and All The Angels." You should ask me about it some time. It's a good story. No, not right now. Now it's six a.m. and I'm a better storyteller before the sun comes up.

Obviously Amanda Palmer is God and the Angels are all the moms you've been pining for...

...and by "moms you've been pining for" I mean people you know through "God"

Far fetched?
posted by [identity profile] at 06:44am on 03/04/2009
I hope all of this isn't taking too much of a toll on you.

Indeed you are an assistant to another, but I hope that you don't lose yourself in that. Even on days where there is just too much work to be done, thousands of emails to answer, a million things left to cross of your to-do list you are more than ---- (the blank can be filled in to be many things, but just take the general concept of being 'more than' and apply it however you'd like).

You are more than whatever your job says you are, even if you strongly identify yourself by or through your work. You know, that might be something worthwhile or interesting for you to write, or at least think about - the struggle of being Someone versus being an extension of Someone else (aka an assistant).

And for the sake of your hands, stretch them out and take breaks from over typing on your blackberry. If you cannot change the way you hold it, at least take occasional breaks from typing. Trust me on this, it's not worth fucking up your hands permanently (the pain, immobility etc)... Besides if you do fuck up your hands, you won't be able to (comfortably) type at all ever... so you know, weight that against putting the BB down temporarily ;)
posted by [identity profile] at 11:12pm on 02/04/2009
We would get along so well.

My mom had a disorder that caused huge issues with her memory. She had a really hard time remembering new information and so I would constantly end up telling her the same story over and over. Now I find myself doing it with everyone. I forget I've told someone a story and will tell it to them time and time again.

I don't mind it when my friends do it to me. I like hearing other people's stories, and sometimes I hear new details that I did in the first telling.
posted by [identity profile] at 12:01am on 07/04/2009
"I grabbed madly for the girl with the almost key
Instead of the one with the lock."

I remember reading this.



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